A Tongue in Cheek Bid Team Primer
A Guide to the Characters You’ll Meet (and the Chaos They Bring)
Bidding is serious business—multi-million dollar deals, tight deadlines, and the fate of entire teams resting on a well-crafted proposal. But let’s be honest: the real challenge in coming to grips with the risk profile of a bid isn’t the pricing model or the compliance matrix. It’s the people.
As a risk manager (or independent reviewer, or the poor soul just trying to keep things from exploding), you’re dropped into a high-stakes group project where no one agrees on what success looks like, half the team isn’t speaking to the other half, and yet, somehow, despite the chaos, a bid must go out the door.
If you’ve ever been on a bid team, you’ve met these characters. If you’re new—brace yourself:
The Salesperson: The Optimist in Chief
Catchphrase: “Trust me, the client LOVES us.”
Every bid begins with enthusiastic proclamations from sales. “We’re in the lead” often means “we’re definitely one of 14 vendors.” Salespeople can be charmingly optimistic, occasionally skating past inconvenient truths in their belief it'll help close the deal faster. Unfortunately, reality tends to crash the party during contract approval.
How to work with them:
Build rapport by reminding them you both want to win, but you’re the one ensuring you’re not "winning" a financial nightmare.
Coach them patiently through governance—think of it as teaching puppies to sit; consistency and treats help.
Insist on documented commitments because, as much as sales loves a good verbal agreement, “the client nodded enthusiastically" won't hold up in court.
Encourage transparency—better to air the dirty laundry early than during contract negotiations.
The Bid Manager: The Human Stress Ball
Catchphrase: “Where’s your section? It was due last week!”
At 2 am, they're the ones furiously piecing together documents from teams that communicate mostly through passive-aggressive emails. Closely tied to sales, they maintain optimism publicly while privately panicking over unaddressed risks that could derail everything.
How to work with them:
Earn their trust by gently drawing out their hidden worries, preferably before they combust.
Volunteer to play “bad cop” with senior management—after all, popularity wasn't in your job description.
Remind them you're the designated bearer of bad news, taking pressure off their eternally overloaded shoulders.
The Solution Lead: The Architect of Complexity
Catchphrase: “Technically feasible, but…”
Lead architects patiently extract critical nuggets of wisdom from SMEs, decipher customer requests written by committees who haven't met, and identify impossible demands before anyone else. They’re brilliant—but their brilliance sometimes gets buried under executive optimism or outright denial. Occasionally you'll encounter architects oblivious to risks who view "risk logs" as optional (like speed limits).
How to work with them:
Quickly pinpoint risks by leveraging their insight. They’ve already done the hard work of translating chaos.
Actively support talented architects who are frustrated by executives who wouldn’t recognize a red flag if it danced in front of them.
If your architect claims zero risks exist, double-check everything immediately—trust, but verify.
The Subject Matter Expert (SME): Keeper of Esoteric Knowledge
Catchphrase: “That’s not how we do it.”
SMEs are geniuses within their very narrow specializations but often have the commercial insight of a teaspoon. They'll agonize over minor details, delaying their work until it threatens the entire bid. Yet occasionally you stumble across a commercially savvy SME frustrated that their genuine insights are ignored. SMEs can be risk-management rockstars or nightmares—no middle ground.
How to work with them:
Prepare for bribery, begging, or pleading to get their input on time.
Encourage earlier drafts to avoid eleventh-hour panic (and your inevitable caffeine overdose).
Draw out introverted SMEs in meetings carefully—they won’t volunteer information freely, but it’s gold when they do.
Expect occasional disdain or dramatic meeting avoidance tactics—your invitation to discuss "risk management" might feel to them like a summons for a dental appointment.
Finance: The Keeper of Reality Checks
Catchphrase: “Have you factored in currency fluctuations?”
Finance teams don’t mean to spoil your optimism; they're just naturally allergic to assumptions. Numbers and scenarios are their love languages, and they'll meticulously validate every projection until everyone's eyes glaze over.
How to work with them:
Partner early and often; finance teams handle surprises about as well as cats handle baths.
Align your risk scenarios clearly with financial impacts to form a persuasive double act for senior executives.
Remember, if finance isn’t happy, nobody’s happy. Keep them close.
Legal: The Voice of Doom
Catchphrase: “Did someone actually promise unlimited liability?”
Legal is everyone's least favorite messenger—but they're usually right. They protect against nightmares you didn’t even know existed and are adept at finding contract clauses that might trigger corporate apocalypse.
How to work with them:
Engage legal early—it's far less painful to prevent contractual disasters upfront than deal with them post-signature.
Use their caution as your superpower; nothing shuts down unrealistic optimism faster than "legal says no."
Be patient. They deliver good news about as often as Halley's Comet visits, but when they do, celebrate.
The Peter Pyramid Executive: Promoted Beyond Competence
Catchphrase: “Just sign it—we’ll figure out delivery later!”
These executives climbed the ladder via charisma, optimism, or sheer tenure. They’ll confidently approve anything without realizing they've signed up for future chaos.
How to handle them carefully:
Keep it simple; use clear summaries. Big words make them nervous.
Frame risks in terms of personal accountability (“your signature, your fame, your LinkedIn profile!”).
Unite Finance and Legal to create a reality-check chorus—it’s harder for executives to dismiss multiple experts simultaneously.
So, how are your soft skills?
Ultimately, success in bidding is all about managing people, clearly communicating risks, and providing robust assessments to decision-makers. Essential soft skills include active listening (for hearing what isn't being said), empathy (even for salespeople), effective communication (especially in translating jargon to human), negotiation (or hostage negotiation, depending on your team), emotional intelligence (when the bid manager cries), and the ability to remain calm under pressure (when nothing is going right, and it’s due tomorrow). Hone these skills, and you'll navigate interpersonal chaos, build stakeholder trust, and mitigate strategic risks. You'll not just win bids—you'll survive them.